Wise after the event – things I wish I’d know before I started planning our wedding

Hindsight is a wonderful thing – especially when planning a wedding.  Trouble is, by the time you’ve gained that valuable experience it’s too late – your big day is over and gone!  In this post we share some of the things the team at Clevedon Hall has discovered in the course of hosting more than a few wedding celebrations.

Keep tight control of your budget

Even if you are the world’s savviest spender, and have spreadsheets for everything, it’s easy to get carried away or talked into additional expenditure.  £50 here and £35 there soon mounts up to £500 or £1000 when you are having to make a lot of decisions one after another and you want everything to be perfect. 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Step back at regular intervals and realise these are not just numbers but real sums of money.  Also realise that the answer to every challenge does not have to be throwing cash at it – there may be more creative solutions that are less expensive.  You are also allowed to say “no!” on occasion.

When you first fix your budget make sure you include a contingency (at least 10%-15%).  That way you won’t freak out quite so much when you run over!

Whose wedding is it anyway?

If your parents insist on paying for your wedding, or at least making a substantial contribution, that’s great – but there will probably be strings attached.  If they want to invite friends you don’t even know how do you politely refuse?  What happens when you want to spend more on the catering but they are keen to keep costs down?  How do you handle it when your in-laws and your own parents are both chipping in but have very different ideas about what makes a great day? 

We’re not saying you should refuse all generous offers – just that you may be solving one problem by creating a couple of others!

You are kidding me, right?!

Don’t expect anyone else (apart from parents footing bills!) to care about your wedding as much as you do.  For you it’s the biggest day of your life.  For them it’s just another date on their social calendar, amongst many others.  One of your best friends would rather go to a festival than being with you?   Another cancels at the last minute because their cat gets sick?!  Someone RSVPs to say they’ll be there then doesn’t show up or even call?!  You can’t believe it, but it happens…and it hurts.   

People have a lot of stuff going on in their lives and their priorities are different from yours.  You just have to accept it and try hard to not get too bent out of shape over it.

Choose suppliers you click with

You are going to spend a lot of time with your hairdresser, your makeup artist, your videographer and your photographer, both before your big day and on it – so pick people you like being around.  Obviously you are going to choose them based on their professional competence, their sense of style and their ideas.  But if they have the kind of personality that leaves you cold, or a manner that winds you up, then you’re probably better advised to find somebody whose company you’ll enjoy more – the chemistry is important!

Photo by Victoria Priessnitz on Unsplash

I wish we’d had a videographer

A photographer is essential, but a videographer as well?   It’s a big extra expense but many brides will tell you the additional cost was more than worth it - there's nothing like a video to really capture the essence of your wedding day, the joy, excitement, laughter….and the speeches.  It will all pass in a bit of a blur so it’s great to be able to just press “replay”!

Don’t expect trial for free

Don’t be surprised if the cost of your makeup and hair trial is not included in the price for the day.   This can come as a bit of a shock when you are already bumping up against your budget limit.  However, if your makeup artist or stylist is going to spend 2-3 hours working with you before the big day, getting to know you, figuring out what sort of makeup you like and making sure the end result is 100% then it’s not unreasonable for them to charge – and it’s a fee well worth paying.   How you look and feel on the day is pretty important, after all!

It’s not as easy as it looks (or cheap)

You want to have the biggest and best celebration ever…but stay within your budget.  Many couples assume DIY is the way to go for everything from the invites to the decorations.  What they don’t factor in is the surprisingly high cost of craft supplies and the fact that getting everything to look as good as they did in that Pinterest tutorial is not quite as easy as they suggest.  Plus, do you really want to be stressing over macrame pew ends or hand lettering the seating plan in the final week – wouldn’t you rather be spending a carefree evening with your bridesmaids with a few cocktails? 

Photo by Visual Stories || Micheile on Unsplash

The same goes for venues and catering.  Putting up a marquee in your friends field, hiring everything from chairs to portaloos and preparing all the food yourselves has to be cheaper…right?  Looking back you’ll probably realise that you’d have been better off hiring professionals – it’s a weight off your shoulders and might even end up costing you less!

We’re here to help

You’ll have a fabulous day, come what may.  But hopefully these observations will help you sidestep a few situations that are easily avoidable…if only someone with a bit more experience had shared some lessons they learnt the hard way!  Got any further wedding related questions?  The team at Clevedon Hall are only too happy to share their knowledge and advice so ask away!