Bridal Showers – who, why, what, when?
The bridal shower is an American tradition. But it’s catching on here – so you need to get up to speed! In this post we answer some of the most frequently asked questions.
Is a bridal shower the same as a hen party?
No. It happens during the day and is an opportunity for close female relatives of the bride (and sometimes of her partner) to get to know her friends. As such it’s family-friendly (unlike the hen do!) event to celebrate the upcoming wedding that features fun, games and gifts. There’s a lot of room to be creative - it could be an informal brunch at the maid of honour's home, a spa day, a flower arranging class, or lunch at a smart restaurant. You can have a bridal shower instead of a hen party but most brides prefer to do both (why have one party when you can have two?!)
Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash
Who organises and hosts the bridal shower?
Typically it’s the maid of honour, helped by the bridesmaids. However, if they’re too busy arranging the hen party the bride's mother, sister, aunt, grandmother or even future mother-in-law can do the honours. Nothing is required of the bride (other than she shows up!) but it’s best to consult her on the theme, date, location and who to invite.
Who pays for the bridal shower?
If it takes place is someone’s home the person hosting usually foots the bill for things like decorations, games and prizes, plus food and drink – but bridesmaids and the bride's family may be happy to chip in and guests can bring dips, cakes and other refreshments. Get the bride’s ideas - if she wants an activity or a meal in a restaurant you'll need to ask the guests to pay for their own part and make this clear right from the start.
Who Is invited to the bridal shower?
Traditionally company comprised the bride's female relatives, the bridal party and close friends but members of her intended’s family could be included too. They can be intimate gatherings of a dozen people or much larger celebrations.
Photo by Helena Yankovska on Unsplash
In the past you wouldn’t invite people to the bridal shower who were not invited to the wedding. Now, however, some are seeing it as an opportunity to celebrate with those who aren't coming to the wedding or the hen party - colleagues or close family friends of your parents. This can be a great idea if you want to host a smaller wedding but don’t want people to feel left out.
Bridal showers also used to women-only events. Nowadays male friends and relatives are often invited too. Some couples host a joint wedding shower for the bride and groom – or he can just pop in at the end for some of the games and say thank you to everyone for being part of their wedding celebrations.
When should the bridal shower take place?
Anywhere between two to six months before the big day. Send invites six weeks ahead to give everyone plenty of notice. Don’t fix a date until you have checked with the bride which guests are absolute must-haves.
Photo by Lee Myungseong on Unsplash
What food and drinks are appropriate for a bridal shower?
The celebration usually takes place during the day so a spread of cake, biscuits, pastries, sandwiches, wraps, quiches and salads is the norm. It’s customary to offer a mix of soft and alcoholic drinks such as Prosecco and cocktails. Bridal showers often have a theme (Champagne brunch, tea party, wine tasting, barbecue, nautical theme…) and this may have a bearing on the food and beverage choices. As with many of the other decisions, ask the bride for her preferences – does she have a favourite colour, cuisine or activity?
Should games be included in a bridal shower?
The event used to be just about gift-giving and socialising but games are now generally included. These help to get the party going and can include anything from a cocktail making competition to a newlywed trivia quiz.
What is the etiquette of gift giving at a bridal shower?
In the US everyone is expected to bring the bride a present but it’s not obligatory in the UK. The bride will usually create a gift registry to provide guests with a list of gift suggestions. The bride opens the gifts with the guests looking on while the maid of honour makes a list of who gave what so the bride can send thank you notes.
Anything else you need to know?
Hopefully this article answered most of your bridal shower related questions. If you have any others, or want some input on any other aspect of wedding planning, just get in touch – the team at Clevedon Hall love sharing their knowledge, experience and ideas!