Get your Order of Service sorted

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Weddings are “go” again.  Well, sort of.  In England you can have a ceremony and a reception for up to 30 guests – provided you follow the Covid-safe guidelines.  So thousands of couples are now busily re-planning their (slightly smaller) Big Day.  In all the inevitable discussions about social distancing arrangements, revised catering requirements and scaled-down guest lists it’s easy for some other important matters to get overlooked.  The Order of Service being one of them.  In this post we take you through a standard Order of Service.  You don’t have to follow it exactly but it’s a useful starting point as you plan the exact details of your own ceremony.

What is the Order of Service?

It is the order in which you go through the different stages of the wedding ceremony itself.  There are certain things you have to do to make the marriage legal - and other things you traditionally do to celebrate your love and make the occasion meaningful.  

Provided you satisfy all the legal requirements you can personalise certain aspects to make your ceremony a unique occasion.  You might stick closely to tradition or go a little bit quirky and original – it’s up to you.  Having said that, making it up as you go along, on the day, is not going to work!  You need to plan the different steps, and practice going through the whole thing from beginning to end, to make sure everything runs smoothly on the day.

In this post we set out the traditional Order of Service for a religious or civil ceremony and cover some of the main issues you’ll want to consider.  A celebrant-led wedding ceremony in England will be slightly different because the legal bits of the service will have to be performed afterwards or beforehand.

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Processional

This is the part where the bride, and bridal party, make their grand entrance.  The traditional way to do this in the UK is to have the groom and groomsmen waiting at the altar.   The bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one, ending with the bride walked down the aisle by her father. If you are including flower girls and page boys in your ceremony then they’ll walk down the aisle just before the bride.

Having said this you can do the processional any way you want and include whoever you choose to take part.  For instance, in a same-sex ceremony you could both walk down the aisle together. 

At a same-sex wedding, you may both choose to walk down their aisle, just one of you or perhaps you decide it isn't right for either of you. The processional is really completely up to you and you can choose which members of your wedding party and family take part.

The important thing is to decide who is going to be part of the procession, how they will line up (in view of the guests or out of sight?), what order will they follow and where will they stand once they reach the end of the aisle…then practice!

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Welcome and introduction

Once the two of you are at the front and everyone has settled down the officiant will extend a welcome to all and set the scene.  You need to discuss with your celebrant what form of words you’d like.  If it’s a religious ceremony there may be a set formula to be followed but if not you and your celebrant can create a bespoke message that strikes just the right note for you and your guests.  It is customary for the celebrant to thank guests for bearing witness to your union, as well as welcome everyone to your venue and your celebration.  This will be an introduction and some thoughts on marriage. This could include a brief recounting of your love story, words on what marriage means to you, or a statement about the ceremony to come and what it represents.

Song or Reading

The welcome is traditionally followed by a song or hymn ceremony but you can replace this with a reading if you’d prefer.  Either way it further helps to set the tonev for what follows.

The marriage ceremony

This begins with what is known as the “charge to the couple”.  The purpose of the charge is to remind you both of your individual duties and roles in the marriage and prepare you for the vows they are about to take.   This is also the part of the proceedings where the officiant asks if there’s any reason in law why the two of you should not marry.

Then comes the exchange of vows. To make your marriage legal, there are certain declarations and contracting words you must say. However, the rest of your vows are up to you and you can choose to word them as you wish.  Because of the legal requirements you must run these past the registrar or religious officiant before the wedding as they can have strict rules about what you’re allowed to say.

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Exchanging of Rings

This is a very symbolic part of the ceremony but exchanging rings is not a legal requirement.  The officiant will take the rings from the best man then in turn you each place a ring on the other’s finger whilst speaking a short dedication.

Declaration of Marriage and First Kiss

The celebrant will now officially declare that you are married and say something along the lines of “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife” (or wife and wife, or husband and husband). They then give you permission to kiss - your cue to embrace amidst much clapping and cheering.  Don’t hurry this bit – give your photographer plenty of time to capture the moment!

Optional Address, Prayers, Reading and Song

If it’s a religious ceremony the celebrant will usually say a few words at this point perhaps with a reading and a hymn.  If it’s a civil service it’s also a lovely moment for a reading or a song.

Signing of the Register

This is another legal requirement so you can’t skip it – until the register is signed you are not fully wed in the eyes of the law.  You’ll need two witnesses to sign the register alongside you and your partner.  You can choose anyone to perform the role of witness but it’s customary for the maid of honour and the best man to do the honours.  This part of the ceremony does not involve your other guests so you probably need to decide on some music they can listen to while you are putting pen to paper.

Ending of the Service

Your celebrant will round things up with some appropriate closing remarks - congratulations, well wishes and occasionally a few words of thanks.

Recessional and Exit

You, the newly-wed Mr and Mrs(!), walk back up the aisle and head off to your reception party accompanied by the music of your choice.  Your wedding party will follow you out (usually in pairs) and then your guests will start exiting from the front row following you out.

Now it’s time to head off to the reception for some serious celebration!

Any other questions?

We’ve just covered the basics here and there are a lot of other things you might like to consider.  Whatever questions or thoughts you have in mind please feel free to share them with us – the team at Clevedon Hall have a wealth of experiences and heaps of inspiring ideas to help you make your big day the best ever!