Father of the bride duties - things your dad needs to know

Apart from beaming proudly in the photographs what else is your dad expected to do on your big day?  He’s probably aware that he’ll be asked to walk you down the aisle and give a speech during the meal - but beyond that he may be a bit clueless (bless!).  In this post we give a full list of the ways he may be called upon to contribute.  We suggest we get him to read it at an early stage so he’s well prepared….

Financial input

In days gone by the father of the bride was expected to pay for the wedding.  This tradition has died out gradually and now the expenditure is usually shared between the two families and the bride and groom. 

Emotional rescue

Every bride will experience moments where they’ve had as much wedding planning stress as they can handle – you included.  Your bridesmaids, along with your mum, will probably the first to give you the support you need.  But dad can be a big help too – sometimes you need someone who is not so involved in the immediate situation that’s causing you the anxiety to step in.  A dad that stays cool, calm and collected when everyone else is “losing it” is a godsend.  His job is to encourage everyone to take a step back and remember what the wedding is really about – two people in love starting a life together.

Make an appearance at the stag do

Depending on the type of stag do planned for the groom he may invite the father of the bride to join in, along with his own dad.  If this is the case the invitation should be accepted – even if he only stays for a couple of drinks at the start of the night.  It’s important for you dad and future husband to build a good relationship and it’ll be a great chance for him to get to know the groomsmen ahead of the big day.

Travel with the bride to the ceremony

This is a tradition that still persists.  You’ll spend the early part of the day with your bridal party getting ready.  But when it’s time to head for the wedding ceremony dad should be with you.  It’s an opportunity for him to admire you in your dress and for the two of you to share a few heartfelt moments together.  His role is to tell you how proud he is and how beautiful you look!   On a more practical note it’s his job to make sure you arrive on time (!), calm your nerves and ensure the photographer gets plenty of shots of the two of you. 

Photo by insung yoon on Unsplash

Walk you down the aisle

This is the bit he has pictured ever since you were a little girl – and his proudest moment as he “gives you away”.  If possible rehearse the arrival and walk down the aisle with him so you get the speed right and he knows where to sit once you are beside your husband to be.  If you are wearing a veil and want your father to be the one lifting it, get him to practice this too – it can be a bit tricky!

Welcome guests to the reception

A receiving line is a great way to greet guests as they enter the reception.  Your father and mother will start the line, followed by yourself and your husband, then his parents.

Sit at the top table

The parents of the bride usually sit next to her on the top table.  Your dad doesn’t have to do anything other than make sparkling conversation and enjoy himself!

Deliver the father of the bride speech

Your father gives the first speech.  It doesn’t have to be long but he has to thank the guests for attending, welcome the groom into the family and share some amusing anecdotes about your childhood.  The tone should be emotional and heartfelt, expressing how much pride he feels for you as you enter this new stage of your life.  Having said that, a bit of humour does not go amiss – a few jokes about the groom are expected!  Get your dad to practice his speech and make sure he doesn’t have one too many proseccos before he performs this important duty!

Photo by Chip Vincent on Unsplash

Accompany you for the father-daughter dance

This is a longstanding tradition and one of the most memorable moments of the celebrations.  Choose a song that you both find meaningful and be sure to practice the dance with your dad before the big day. 

Wrap things up at the end of the night

The father of the bride should supervise proceedings as the reception comes to a close. This includes checking that vendors have been paid, that the gifts have been taken care of and saying goodbye to guests as they depart.

A good time had by all

Last but not least, your dad needs to remember to enjoy himself!  He does have certain duties and roles to perform on the day but none of them are too onerous.  Perhaps the most important way he can contribute is by having a great time as that will help set the tone for everyone else.