Personality analysis and wedding planning - because you need to know!

What has personality analysis got to do with planning and hosting a wedding?  Quite a lot!  When deciding who does what you want to match tasks to the people best suited to carrying them out.  Partly it’s about skills.  If your sister could happily compete on Bake Off then making the cake is a job for her.  And if your bestie is a graphic designer then you’ll obviously want her help with invitations, signage and the website.  But you also need to consider the different range of personalities – watch the movie “Bridesmaids” if you want a dramatic example of what can go wrong if you don’t pay enough attention to the temperaments on your team.

What is personality analysis?

You’ve quite possibly come across some form of personality analysis workshops or tests in your career.  They are widely used to help people understand themselves, and those they interact with, so everyone has a better appreciation of different temperaments and why certain people behave in a particular way.  The objective is to make people more accommodating towards each other and enable them to work better together.

There are many different personality models, each with their own particular strengths and weaknesses.  Many are very extensive and complex.  Perhaps the simplest and easiest to use is called DISC.  It’s probably an oversimplification, but you’ll soon get the hang of it – you’ll also immediately recognise how useful it is when planning a wedding…and that it’s actually fun!

DIY personality analysis

Get a blank sheet of paper and draw a line across the middle of the page.  Write the word OUTGOING at top of the sheet and RESERVED at the bottom.  Now draw another line down the middle of the page from top to bottom. Write the word PEOPLE down the right hand edge of the page and TASK down the left hand side.

Now, think of someone you know who is extrovert but also task orientated – good at getting things done.  Put their name in the top left square.  Now think of someone who is extrovert but not very dependable when it comes to detail and finishing the job.  Put them top right.  Next, think of someone who is quite reserved and loves the detail – someone who takes care and can be relied on to do things properly.  Put them bottom left.  Finally, who do you know who is reserved but always there for you to lend a helping hand.  Put them bottom right.  Chances are you have got yourself and your fiancé on there – and that you are in diagonally opposite squares.  How do we know that?!

Now, write the letter D in top left square, I in top right, C in bottom left and S in bottom right.  Great, but now what?

What’s going on here?

Let’s take the D square first.  People who fall into this category tend to be dominant, direct, decisive, demanding and a “doer”.  They take the lead, drive things forward, are full of confidence and like goals and results.  Some people will find them bossy!  When they hear “wedding” they think “Great, something for me to organise!”

The I type, although outgoing like the D personality, is actually very different. They want to be involved in whatever is going on, they are inspiring and impressionable, exert a lot of influence, but are also illogical, impetuous.  They are excited, emotional, and like to be liked.  Their lack of attention to detail, and love of the limelight can be irritating.  When they hear “wedding” they think “Yay!  Party!”.

The C type is cautious, calculating, capable, conscientious and careful.  They thrive on detail, are analytical and like to think they know best (because, having been so thorough, they probably are!)  On the downside they can be cold and rather boring.  When they hear “wedding” they ask a lot of questions!

The S type is shy, supportive, steady.  They tend to like things the way they are, enjoy routine and are not comfortable with rapid change.  Conflict is something they’ll do anything to avoid, they see the best in people and can be taken for a sucker.   They hear “wedding” and they think “how can I help?”

What does this mean for your wedding?

It means a lot, if you take time to think about it.  First of all, where are you on the chart?  If you are a D you’ll enjoy taking charge but if you’re an S you won’t.  If you are a C you’ll be getting into the detail, with lists, timelines and spreadsheets.  If you are an I your goal will be to make sure everyone has a great time, from the engagement party to the dress shopping and the hen do to the last of the dancing.

Your fiancé is probably the exact opposite to you.  That’s why you get on – you complement each other.  So, if you have a lot of I in you your other half is likely to be a C type.  If you are S they are likely to be somewhat D.  Once you figure this out, play to your strengths.  If he enjoys the boring detail stuff, like reading contacts and negotiating discounts, let him go ahead while you do your bit with another girl’s night out.  If you have D tendencies then take the lead and the big decisions – as an S he’ll be happy to go along with you. 

If you are a D then be wary of other Ds – you are likely to clash.  If you are not a D, be on the lookout for those who are – be careful you don’t let them take over (especially a D mother in law!).  Same with Is – they can talk you into things you might regret later.  This advice is paramount if you are an S because your desire to avoid conflict makes you very susceptible to persuasion – uncomfortable as you may find it there will be times you need to dig in and politely say “no”.  If you are a C then you probably need to make a conscious effort to lighten up and relax – you’ve got everything covered (twice!).

If the best man or chief bridesmaid is an I that’s good – they will get the party going, keep it going and be the life and soul.  But don’t rely on them for things that involve detail and require a bit of patience.  Make sure you back them up with a C or an S, someone with the attention span long enough to stick to job.  Want someone to manage the RSVPs or to pay the band at the end of the evening?  Pick a C or S, not an I!

Got a question? 

There’s a lot more we could tell you about personality analysis and weddings but space does not permit – there’s plenty of further research you can do online.  Hopefully, however, this brief introduction will give you some useful hints and tips.  The team at Clevedon Hall cannot claim to be certified experts in this area but we’ve helped organise enough weddings to provide any advice you may need – just give us a call.