#Wedding planning social media tips

Social media and weddings go together like strawberries and cream.  But before you start posting everything from your engagement to your honeymoon, and all the stuff in between, there are some issues to be aware of.  In this post we share a few of the things we’ve learnt about social media etiquette and best practice for brides.

Avoid this classic mistake

Don’t post your engagement online until you’ve told your closest friends and relatives.  How would you feel if your best friend, your cousin or your daughter shared the story on Facebook or Instagram before having the courtesy to give you a personal heads up - hurt, right?!   Enjoy the “just engaged” moment but resist the temptation to go public without telling your nearest and dearest first.

The Ring – too much information

You’ll obviously want to share pictures of the ring but keep the details vague.  If you post the cost and the carat size then you are asking for trouble.  You may embarrass your partner or it might come across as vulgar and bragging. 

Everything in moderation

Anything, in excess, can be bad for you.  And this is certainly true of social media.  Whether you are seeking inspiration or posting and sharing stuff yourself, it’s easy to overdo things and create problems for yourself 

Spending too long looking at what others have done or recommend on Pinterest and Instagram is a recipe for feeling inadequate and insecure – “comparison is the thief of joy”.  Also, if you try to take on board every idea then your to-do list will get longer and longer and you’ll be overloaded with options.  What’s more, it’s well documented that using filters to manipulate your selfies increases the risk of anxiety, body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.

Planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is and too much focus on social media will only make matters worse.   Unplug on a regular basis and prioritise time for your mental and physical wellbeing as well as building the relationships with those you love (in person!).

Who can post on the day?

You need to decide on your policy regarding guests posting from your ceremony and celebration.  Do you want an entirely ‘unplugged’ wedding with no social postings at all?  Are you happy if guests share photos of the details and décor only?  Would you prefer that images are shared only after you’ve shared them first (guests have to wait until the next day).   Or are you totally chilled and happy for guests to share images as soon as they like?

Once you’ve made your decision you need to communicate it clearly.  Include a note on your information cards and on your wedding website.  Reiterate this message on the day by asking your Groomsmen to remind guests what the policy is.  It’s also quite usual for officiants to make an announcement before the ceremony so everyone is left in no doubt about what is expected of them.

Get a Hashtag

If you’re happy with guests posting photos then creating a custom wedding hashtag for your big day is a great idea.   It’s a fun way to personalize your nuptials and it'll encourage guests to share their favourite snapshots online.   You’ll have all those pictures and posts in one place, a permanent repository of memories you and your guests can easily revisit whenever they want.

Add your hashtag to your invitations, your wedding signage and wedding day stationery so that everyone can share the hashtag love!   Try and come up with a simple hashtag (typing can get tricky after a few drinks!) and check whether anyone else has used it before.

Don’t post your wedding website link

Lots of couples create their own personalised wedding website – it makes sense for a lot of good reasons and is quite easy to do.  But don’t make the mistake of posting the address online.  Why?  Because it’s for guests only, and not for the rest of the world. 

If you post the address on your social media feed it will be seen by people who are not invited – and may feel left out.  They could even post comments about the venue, your dress or some other aspect of your big day that are unwelcome.  Protect your important wedding details by only sharing your wedding website link through insert cards that go out with the formal invite or with guests when communicating with them directly.

Check your privacy settings

Review your social media privacy settings to make sure you’re comfortable with who will be seeing whatever you post and whatever you’re being tagged into.  Definitely do this before your honeymoon so you’re not advertising an empty home to the wrong people.

Keep it positive

Planning a wedding is a big project and it can feel a lot like work at times – budgets, schedules, deadlines and meetings.  Inevitably there will be a bit of stress and frustration.  Sharing those feelings will help you handle them.  But just don’t do it online!

If you feel compelled to complain about how hard it is to find suppliers who share your vision, to drop hints about family differences of opinion or moan about the size of your to-do list then have a quiet chat with someone you can trust to be discreet and sympathetic.  It’s not appropriate or smart to broadcast this stuff publicly – you’ll just add to your problems!

RSVPs and social media – sorry, but no!

Make it clear to guests you’ll only accept RSVPs through mailed RSVP cards or through your wedding website.  It might seem more convenient to let them confirm or decline through social media but you'll quickly get bogged down with Facebook and Instagram messages – keeping track of it all will rapidly become a nightmare and a recipe for misunderstandings.

Your suppliers and social media

Let your photographer and videographer know your social media policy for the day - if it’s ‘no phones’ for your ceremony it’ll make their job easier (fewer people getting in the way!)

Photo by Ibrahim Boran on Unsplash

Inform your other suppliers as well as they might like to share shots from your day on their own feeds as they’re setting up.  If you’d prefer they didn’t do this, or if you don’t want them to post anything at all, then let them know.  However, some supplier contracts actually include lines about social media in their T&Cs (so you may have already given them permission!).

Ditch your phone for the day

Your phone will be buzzing with texts, well-wishes and tagged photos on your wedding day but you need to remain in the moment with your guests and your partner (husband!).  Give your phone to someone capable, like your maid of honour, the best man or a close family member and forget about it – you can catch up on all that stuff later. 

Stay chilled

Be prepared for the fact that some of guests will forget (or even ignore) your social media policy.  The most important thing is to avoid getting upset.  On the other hand, if you’ve created a hashtag but nobody is using it then get someone to give a little hashtag shout-out.

Any other questions?

These are our top tips for brides on how to handle social media.  If you have any questions about anything we’ve not covered, just ask – the team at Clevedon Hall are always happy to share their knowledge, experience and ideas.