You can still pop the question in a pandemic
Photo by Dottie Mabry on Unsplash
Tying the knot and having a full-on celebration is a bit problematic at the moment – but there’s nothing to stop you getting engaged. In this post we give you some tips and suggestions that you might helpful. Not just before the question is popped but a bit about what to expect after as well!
Before you get engaged…
You may be truly, madly head-over-heels in love but that doesn’t mean you, or your other half, have to pop the question right now. Till death us do part is a long time so it’s essential that you really know the person you’re inviting to be your lifelong partner before committing yourselves.
To help you get to that point, and are able to commit yourself with confidence, we suggest that you experience a few different situations together to gain a greater understanding of how well you’ll get on through life’s journey.
Photo by Joey Nicotra on Unsplash
One thing we’d recommend is taking a holiday or break together – not only will it be fun but you also learn a lot about a person when travelling. You’ll discover how they respond when things don’t go quite according to plan, how they behave in unfamiliar surroundings and situations, whether they like to plan or just take things as they come, and whether you can lose your way without yelling at each other!
Getting to know each other’s family is also a smart idea – if you haven’t watched “Meet the Fokkers” do it now! Ideally you should spend a few days in their company to get an idea of their particular characters and peculiarities.
Take on a project together (before you start planning the wedding!). It could be something as simple as cooking a dinner for a few friends or decorating a room. The point is to see how well you work together as a team – if you both want to be in charge, or you have totally different ways of approaching tasks, then maybe this could be a source of irritation down the road.
Life is not always a bed of roses so it’s good to know how your other half handles the difficult times. How supportive are they when you get sick, how easy are they to live with when they’re under pressure at work, how positive and robust are they when faced with challenges? It’s not how good you are together when the sun is shining but whether you both continue to get along fine during darker days.
After you get engaged…
Once the question has been popped, and the proposal accepted, you are going to be pretty busy. There’s obviously going to be plenty of time spent sharing the good news. Then, when the dust has settled a bit, the wedding planning will begin. All that is to be expected. A few other things, however, may take you slightly by surprise.
You probably had a picture in your mind of your ideal fantasy proposal story. Perhaps it involved a moonlit night on a beach in the Caribbean, a flash mob, a romantic weekend at a boutique hotel or a ring concealed in a dessert of fortune cookie at the end of a lavish dinner. The reality, however, was bound to be slightly different. Even if it was pretty close to what you hoped for you might not have been wearing the perfect outfit, it might have come at the end of a bad day at work or perhaps the weather was not as you imagined. So, don’t be surprised if there’s a tiny tinge of disappointment in amongst the euphoria. Don’t worry – you’ll soon get over it!
Even if you’re not a “jewellery person” you’ll be amazed at how hard it becomes to tear your eyes away from your hand now that you have this beautiful new piece on your finger. That alone, plus the once-in-a-lifetime significance of the symbol, is enough to make you want to stare compulsively at your ring finger. We suggest you get a manicure at the earliest opportunity – because everyone will want to see your ring. The other thing to beware of is being distracted by that glittery thing while driving!
You’ll have to tell, and retell, your proposal story, over and over again – it’s the first question everyone asks, once you’ve shown them the ring. This is all part of the fun of being engaged but after a while you’ll find yourself giving people the shortened version! You might want to put the longer version on your wedding website so your friends and family can get all the details.
Be prepared for the “when and where?” question. You’ve probably not had a chance to think about it, or discuss it with your other half, but people are going to ask anyway. And what kind of dress are you going to wear, what sort of cake… We suggest you work out a handy answer to head them off – something like “We're so excited just being engaged right now. I'm sure there will be plenty of time to figure out the details in the coming months."
Photo by Dan LeFebvre on Unsplash
Don’t be shocked if one or two people are less enthusiastic about your great news than the rest – this is normal! Our advice is to avoid dwelling on whatever is bothering them. It’s more of a reflection on them, not you, so just focus on the happy future you are planning.
Expect to be the recipient of lots of expert advice from well-meaning friends and relatives – especially those who tied the knot recently. When someone starts with “You should do this, or that…” it’s easy to feel pressurised – and if what their suggesting is at odds with what you have in mind the temptation is to get defensive, or push back. Take a deep breath and graciously accept whatever they are saying – they’re only trying to be helpful. If you agree with the advice, take it; if not, thank them and move on with your plans.
Looking ahead to your big day
Once your initial excitement has settled a little, and you’ve had time to share it with family and friends, your thoughts will inevitably turn to the wedding itself. Obviously we’re going through a rather strange time at the moment as far ceremonies and celebrations are concerned. The team at Clevedon Hall are up to speed with all the latest developments and you’ll find they can answer a lot of the questions that are bound to be bothering you. Give us a call!