Now we are married - happily ever after tips

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The first few weeks after your wedding everything is probably a bit of a blur.  You are still recovering from all the excitement of the big day.  You probably went off on honeymoon.  Things will have calmed down after all that frantic planning organising.  And you are still getting used to your new status as man and wife.  At some point you are going to wake up and realise that life has settled down to “normal” again.  It will be a new normal…but normal none the less.  It’s important, however, to realise that this is not the end of something, but actually the true beginning – a really special time where you develop a deeper bond with your partner and establish your life as a married couple.   

Even though every couple is different, there are a few things that all couples can do to really help make the first year together memorably magical.  The wedding whirlwind is finally settling down and you now have the time to stop and smell the roses, get to know each other better and really think about the future.  So in this post we share some ideas about how you can make the most out of your first year of wedded bliss.

Be aware of how things are going

It’s easy to slide into relationship laziness without ever realizing what is happening.  There’s no harm in feeling comfortable together, but you don’t want that to become complacency and start taking each other for granted.

Photo by  Lucas Lenzi  on  Unsplash

Photo by Lucas Lenzi on Unsplash

Take humour seriously

 Laughter is incredibly important in a relationship.  It’s almost certainly one of the main things that attracted you to your partner in the first place – and it will help you feel good about staying together.  When problems arise (and they will, for sure) laughter helps you both cope better – thing never seem so big and difficult if you can have a laugh at them.  On the other hand the good times are even more fun when you are laughing so hard it hurts.  Whether you go to comedy nights, watch your favourite comedy TV shows together, play bad air guitar when you are preparing supper, it’s crucial that you take the time to laugh together—hard and often.

Make a date

Remember when you first started “going out” together?  You went OUT!  Now you live together this may seem unnecessary.  But it’s now even more important than ever.  It’s just too easy to get stuck in a boring routine – so you need to make a conscious effort to mix things up a bit.  That could mean meeting up for a drink and/or a meal straight from work – instead of going home and just slumping down in front of the TV with a bottle of wine.  Booking the occasional weekend break is also a great idea – there are plenty of city break bargains to be had or you could just throw a tent and your sleeping bags in the car.  Is there a band or festival you fancy, a great film coming out shortly or a new pizza place to try?

Get your finances on an even keel

It’s quite likely that you went into the red during your wedding planning – it’s normal for people to push the boat out a bit far when organising their big day.  But now you should get things a little more organised.  Most couples don’t actually join their finances until the wedding is out of the way.  If you haven’t already done so it’s time to have an important talk about you are going to manage your money going forward.  This may not sound very romantic, but it doesn’t have to be like that.  It’s an opportunity to have a closer look at your dreams then plan how you are going to make them a reality.

Don’t let the phone come between you

The average person in the UK spends more than a day a week online according to recent research.  So you may think it’s OK to be watching your phone when you are having dinner together, while you are watching TV or even in the middle of a conversation with your spouse, it’s a habit you want to avoid.  It may seem harmless because so many others do it.  But it can very quickly create distance between you and your partner.  When you are together put your focus on your spouse, not on a screen!

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Get a new hobby with your hubby

One of the best ways to strengthen your relationship, and make sure you are spending time together in a way that’s fun and rewarding, is to do something new.  You feel more like a team. You start chatting again (and the more you talk about little things, the easier it is to talk about big things!). And you laugh. Whenever you laugh together barriers come down, things relax and you feel close.  So if he suggests taking up cycling, coming to football with him or going for golf lessons don’t be too quick to say no.  Maybe you could get him to try a Salsa class, join a book group or get him into baking?

Make sure you say “thank you” regularly

Put it into words and take the time to tell your partner how amazing they are, how much they mean to you, and how important your relationship is.  But also do it with gifts and hugs.  Everyone expresses gratitude differently - the important thing is that you’re showing it.

Last word

The team at Clevedon Court don’t provide relationship counselling – but we can certainly help with every aspect of your wedding planning.  So give us a call if you have any questions about your big day…but we hope this article proves useful in the months and years after you become Mr & Mrs!

Jim O'ConnorComment