How to avoid emotional meltdowns as your big day approaches
Getting married is the most fun, romantic and exciting thing ever. But there will be times in the planning stages when it all gets a bit awkward, exhausting and stressy. However, there are things you can do to reduce the worries and smooth out the wrinkles – follow these top tips and you’ll find it everything goes much more smoothly.
It’s not just you
The first thing is to recognise that everyone goes up and down an emotional rollercoaster in the months and weeks before they get hitched. The feelings, good and not so good, are entirely normal. Don’t beat yourself and feel guilty if there are moments when it all gets too much – chill out, pour yourself a big glass of wine, go for a walk, soak in a hot bath and have a cuddle with the one you love.
Make it easy for yourself
Pick a venue that has all the facilities you are going to need and an experienced team to take care of everything. The idea of a marquee in a remote field, a knees-up in the village hall or a bash on a big boat might sound amazing, but it’ll take a lot more thought, organisation and work. You might be up for this at the very beginning but then find yourself asking “why didn’t we go for the simpler option?!”
You don’t need money worries
Set a budget right at the beginning and have a realistic idea of how it’s going to break down – this much for the venue, this much for the dress, this much for the cake, this much on food & wine, this much for flowers. You don’t want to be having stressful discussions nearer the day and being forced into awkward compromises or finding extra funds at the last minute. Also, be clear, right from the start, who is paying for what. And hold a contingency budget to cover the unexpected – 15% should cover it.
Get yourself organised
Write lists and a timeline so you know what needs doing, by when. Make a note of important appointments so you don’t miss any - or remember the day before and panic! If you try and carry all this stuff in your head it’s guaranteed to increase your anxiety levels.
Delegate as much as possible
If friends and family offer to help, accept - trying to do everything yourself is a sure way to arrive at overload! Also don’t try to micro-manage suppliers like the team at the venue, the cake person, the florist and the photographer. Give them a clear brief on what you want then trust them to deliver – they are the experts, they’ve done it many times before and their professional reputation is on the line…so they will be very keen to do a great job. Obviously keep in touch with them to check they don’t need anything more from you – but don’t overdo it.
Don’t overdo the DIY
Get friends and family to help, but don’t put too much on them. If you decide on a DIY approach to things like the flowers, the cake, decorating the venue and hand lettering place names then it certainly adds a more personal touch. But it means more work for you and your team and could tie you and them up at the last minute with tedious tasks. Do you really want to spend a few hours putting together hand-crafted wedding favour boxes, baking and icing cupcakes or hiding clues for a kid’s treasure hunt?
The morning of your big day
Following on from the previous point don’t leave too much to do on the morning of your wedding. This is a precious opportunity to spend time with your very closest friends and family and many brides afterwards say how much they enjoyed that part of the wedding day. Try to set up and get as much as possible ready the afternoon before so that there’s ample time on the day to relax and concentrate on getting yourself ready. Also prepare a schedule of timings for the day, so that everyone knows what to expect when. Share it with your suppliers at an early stage so that they can advise if they think it needs tweaking. Give yourself a few gaps so you have a safety margin in case there are any unplanned delays.
Expect to get emotional
No matter how well organised you are some issue is going to crop up. Accept that it’s going to happen and you won’t get so bent out of shape. The weather, for instance, has a way of taking us by surprise – so it’s smart to pick a venue that is adorable both inside and out. That way you can be flexible if the weather suddenly changes (several times during the day!).
If you do lose it…
It’s kind of expected – and you are forgiven. You might send a stressy email, rant to a friend, sob down the phone to your mum, shout at your other half…but people will understand. Apologise, and move on.
Relax – together we can handle it
We’ve got a few other little tips and strategies that’ll prove helpful but we’re running out of space in this post. Get in touch with our team here at Clevedon Hall to discuss your plans and ideas. They’ll be only too happy to share their experience – including further ways to iron out potential wedding day worries.