Business jargon.  Love it or hate it, but we can’t seem to get along without it.  You probably wouldn’t use words and phrases like “silo”, “move the needle” and “blue sky thinking” with your mates down the pub. 

So why do we slip into this kind of language when we’re communicating with work colleagues?  Because it’s a way to fit in.

It’s therefore essential that you keep you keep up to date with the latest lexicon (and if you spend a few days every week working from home you could quickly find yourself out of the loop).  So here are some of the latest buzzwords and acronyms you need to be familiar with.  If they crop up in a meeting you can congratulate yourself that you’re on the same page as everyone else.  Or you can slip them into discussions to throw your less up to speed colleagues into confusion!

Boil the ocean

A picturesque way to describe an activity or project that you consider a complete waste of time.  Not to be confused with “kicking dead whales down the beach” – this describes an activity that may be necessary but which is repetitive and unpleasant.

TAM

Total Addressable Market.  The overall revenue opportunity that is available to a product or service if it achieved 100% market share.  It is used to help determine the level of effort and funding that a person or company should put into a new business line.

It is what it is

A useful phrase when faced with a situation over which you have no control and there’s no easy way out.

Thought shower

This describes a group discussion or meeting where people “ideate” – try to generate new ideas or clever solutions to company challenges.  It replaces the earlier term “brainstorming” (so last year!).

Meat computer

A term used by Tesla executives to describe a human driver as opposed to driverless tech.

BYOD

Bring your own device (to work) ie use your personal laptop in the office.

Actionable analytics

Data that is of some practical use – as opposed to the stuff that nobody understands, that’s irrelevant and which has no meaningful value.

Blamestorming      

A meeting where a failure is discussed with the objective of finding a scapegoat.

Wantrapreneur

Someone who like to talk about starting their own business but never takes the plunge. 

PowerPointless

Elaborate graphics and fancy animations in slide presentations that look impressive but actually make it harder to follow the thread of the presentation.

AVI

Asynchronous video interviews.  Interviews where applicants stare into laptop camera and answer pre-recorded questions that are then assessed by algorithms.

Put a record on and sees who dances

A reinvention of the old “let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes” line.

Teflon shoulder

Derogatory term for a co-worker who always manages to wiggle out of assignments – responsibility just slips off them.

Slob

Slow moving or obsolete stock.

Tiger team

A temporary group of "experts" assembled to convince management that everything is under control – “Don’t worry, we’ve got a tiger team on it”.

Decoy effect

The ruse whereby you offer prospective customers an unappealing option in the hope this will nudge them towards the company’s preferred choice.

Growth hacking

This is a general term for strategies focused on achieving rapid growth. It’s usually associated with early-stage start-ups who seek massive growth in a short time on small budgets, the goal being to acquire as many users or customers as possible while spending as little as possible.

Birdtable

To gather the team round and discuss an issue before assigning tasks, as in  "Let's birdtable the new schedule tomorrow."

Putting socks on an octopus

Description of any task that is impossible and deeply frustrating.  An alternative to “nailing jelly to the wall”.

Triangulate

To discuss something with a third person or party - "your proposal looks good but,  but I'll have to triangulate with Natasha in HR before I sign it off."

Knowledge density

A vague way of describing expertise - "Sorry, I don't have the knowledge density to give you an opinion on that."   In other words a smart way of saying “I have no clue” without sounding inadequate.

Anything else we can help you with?

Congratulations!  By getting to the end of this post you have increased your knowledge density of the latest business jargon.  Can we also remind you that we’re now fully open again to host a wide variety of business functions – everything from training sessions to seminars, corporate celebrations to board meetings and networking events to team building days.  Got an event in mind?  Give us a call.