Bridal showers have been a big part of any wedding preparations and celebrations in the US for many years – but now they are catching on over here.  In this post we answer all the most commonly asked questions we hear from brides when the topic comes up in conversation.

What is a bridal shower?

A bridal shower is different from a hen do.  It’s a daytime event in which the close female relatives of the bride (and possibly of her fiancé) get together with her best friends to celebrate ahead of the wedding. It's a family-friendly event (unlike the hen party!) that involves the playing of games and the giving of gifts. 

Who hosts the Bridal Shower?

Usually this is organised and hosted by the maid of honour with the bridesmaids in support.  Having said that it’s not unusual for the bride's mother, sister, aunt, grandmother or even future mother-in-law to do the honours.  As the bride you are not expected to get involved in organising the event but we suggest that whoever takes on the responsibility gets your input with regard to theme, venue, activities, date and who to invite. 

What happens at a bridal shower?

There are no hard and fast rules – you play it the way you fancy.  In the US the couple may have bridal shower gift registry but in the UK the focus is less on gifts and more about activities and socialising.  It could be a low-key brunch at the maid of honour's home, or a spa day for some pampering, or a cake baking class, or lunch at a nice restaurant.  Party games could include charades, newlywed trivia quiz or wedding themed Pictionary.  Where gifts are given they tend to be relatively inexpensive. 

Any do’s and don’ts?

Having said the rules are relaxed guests should not bring a plus-one and they shouldn’t ignore the theme/dress code.  You, the bride, should make an effort to mingle with everyone and get to know those you haven’t met before.  Also, very important, don't invite anyone to your shower that you don’t plan on inviting to the wedding.

Who pays for the bridal shower?

If the shower is hosted at someone’s home then that person is expected to cover the cost of things like decorations, games and prizes, plus food and drink.  However, others, like the bridesmaids or the bride's family will probably chip in too.  Thoughtful guests will also ask what they can do to help.  If the shower involved an activity or going out for a meal it’s usual to ask guests to pay their share – but make this clear on the invitation.

Who to invite to your bridal shower?

The bride will traditionally invite close female family and close female friends, along with female members of her partners family as well.  However, we live in changing times and the bride may be accompanied by her fiancé, along with some male friends and relatives too.  Numbers are up to you – anything from an intimate gathering of a dozen up to a major celebration.

Are gifts obligatory at a bridal shower?

In the US it's customary for all guests to bring a present but it’s not necessary in the UK.  What kind of gifts are appropriate?  Items for the home, lingerie or jewellery are all popular.  A card, at the very least, is expected, perhaps with flowers.  It’s also polite for guests to ask whoever is hosting whether they can bring food or drink.  If someone gives a gift at the shower this is not in place of their main wedding gift but in addition to it – that’s why shower gifts tend to be minor ones. 

When to have your bridal shower?

Most bridal showers are hosted anywhere from two to six months before the main wedding date.  It usually comes a few weeks before your hen do.  Send out the invites well ahead of the date so guests have plenty of notice.

What’s the dress code for a bridal shower?

That’s entirely up to you – as casual or formal as you like.  It’s generally dictated by the theme and venue.  If you are having a relaxed BBQ then it’s probably casual.  Dinner in a smart restaurant probably calls for something a bit more dressy.  Afternoon tea, smart casual, possibly?!  Some bridal showers have a colour theme, so the dress code should obviously fit with that.  Whatever you decide make it very clear on the invitation.

Any other questions?

Hopefully this answers your main bridal shower questions.  But if you have more, or want input regarding any other aspect of your wedding planning, just ask away.  The team at Clevedon Hall have hosted so many wonderful weddings that we’ve probably got all the answers you need!