The best bit of a wedding, for many of the guests, is the speeches.  In the past the bride was not expected to do more than sit in silence, smile sweetly and laugh at the appropriate moments.  In today’s more equality-conscious world this tradition is getting a long overdue shakeup.  Recent research suggests that about one in five brides to be now plan to say a few words.   If you are one of those itching to get your hands on the microphone here are some tips about how to ace it. 

What should you say?

You need to make your bride speech relevant to the occasion.  So, it’s an opportunity to thank her bridesmaids, her family and friends for their support and the groom’s family for welcoming her.  Also, very importantly, it enables her to say some lovely things about her new husband (returning the compliments he made to her in his speech). 

The key to any great speech is to put yourself in the audience’s seats and tailor it to them – if you are saying what they want to hear your words will be enthusiastically applauded!  50% of the guests will be women but something like 80% of the other speeches (if not more!) are delivered by the men.  So, address the women and give the female perspective. 

Avoid repeating what’s in the other speeches

Talk to the best man, your dad and your fiancé to get an idea of what topics they’ll be covering and what stories they plan to tell.  That way you won’t be covering the exact same subjects as them.

Tone of voice

It’s best to keep it light-hearted and upbeat.  Humour works well (and people will expect you to raise a few laughs) but don’t try too hard to be funny – it can come across as forced and then fall flat (your role is not to be a stand-up comedy act!).  Stories work well and are easy to tell.  For instance, you could give your version of how you first met, your first impressions, the proposal and challenges with your wedding planning experiences.

Keep it short and to the point

Remember that all the speeches combined will probably stretch to half an hour - any longer than that and people will get bored and restless.  That means you should probably give yourself no more than five minutes.

Sticking to short sentence, and pausing between each one to make eye contact with the audience, works well.  This will allow you to breathe slowly, stay calm and collect your thoughts – a gabbled speech is not what people want to hear. 

Steer clear of any embarrassing anecdotes – you are likely to offend and you may not get the laughs you expect.

Be yourself and don’t be afraid to share your feelings

A wedding is an emotional and romantic occasion so speak from the heart and really put your own personal stamp on things.  Just reading out a list of formal “thank yous” will leave everyone very disappointed.

Preparation and practice

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to wing it.  Write it down.  Read it aloud to a few close friends and get their feedback.  Record it and listed to it yourself (even better, video it). 

Then rewrite it.  Now practice it until you can deliver it smoothly and confidently.  Some brides may like to memorise it, others may prefer to write the key points on a card or two (but se this as a memory jogger and confidence booster – don’t read from them word for word).

Do not leave this till the last few days before the big one – best to give yourself at least a month, if not more, to get it right.

Drink responsibly

Should you be totally sober before you get to your feet and start to speak?  It’s up to you.  A glass of bubbly beforehand may help you settle your nerves and get you into the swing of things.  Two glasses is probably the max – any more than this and you are probably asking for trouble!

Where does the bride fit in the order of speeches?

The traditional order of speeches is father of the bride, followed by the groom and then the best man.  Tacking the bride’s speech on the end can come across as a bit of a token gesture – it can look as if she’s just being given a few minutes as an afterthought.  Between the groom and best man works well, or straight after her father.  You could even decide to kick things off if you want to make a point about how equal the partnership is!

Want some more help with your speech?

The team at Clevedon Hall have heard more than their fair share of great wedding speeches.  We’ve included their main tips above but if you have any further questions about this aspect of your big day (or any other for that matter) just give us a call.