If you’re struggling with pre-wedding nerves just watch an episode of “Married at First Sight”.  Committing to marrying someone you haven’t set eyes on until they arrive at the ceremony – that’s real nerves!  It makes great TV but imagine how the couple must be feeling in the weeks and months before the big day – worried as heck!

Hopefully you have not got yourself in quite such a stressful situation as them.  But if you do find the tension beginning to build here are some tips to help you take your nerves down a notch.

Anticipate your anxiety

If you didn’t experience some nerves you wouldn’t be normal – so congratulations, you are supposed to feel this way!  According to a survey by fearcourse.com, 71% of brides-to-be suffered from some type of anxiety during the build-up to their wedding. 92% experienced nerves on the day of the wedding or the evening before, while 66% reported that it affected their daily lives or their behaviour and enjoyment during the day itself.

Have a contingency

Money is probably one of the biggest sources of worry as you prepare your wedding plans.  You can minimise these by picking a budget that doesn’t overstretch you.  Break it down so you know how much you can spend on the main items, like venue, dress, food – and stick to it!  However, accept that there are bound to be unexpected things and situations you didn’t anticipate.  With this in mind set aside at least 15% of your budget for contingencies.  That way you’ll avoid money worries keeping you awake at night.  Plus, if you don’t spend all the contingency you’ll have a bit more fun money for your honeymoon!

Watch your wellbeing

Self-care is something we’re all focusing on right now – and for good reason.  Planning a wedding can take over your whole life if you’re not careful.  Schedule some periods of time that are wedding-free.  Go on some date nights (OK, we’re in lockdown now so you might just have to cook a nice dinner and watch Netflix…but hopefully we might be allowed out soon!).  Take some exercise or yoga classes (on zoom for the moment).  Get into baking, making your own pasta or cocktail mixology.  Don't answer emails, don't field questions, and switch off the voice in your head that says you have to wedding planning 24/7!

Pretend you’re getting married a month early

This little trick will help you keep on top of your planning.  That way you have plenty of time for the last few details like the ceremony booklets, the seating plan and that dash to IKEA for candles!  Also, if there are any hiccups or delays it’s not the end of the world.  You can spend the last couple of weeks enjoying yourself and relaxing instead of dashing around in a panic.

Head off questions before the get annoying

Part of the fun of getting married is talking about the preparations with family and friends.  But you don’t want to be answering the same few questions over and again.  The more information you can provide early on the fewer questions as the big day approaches.  Having a website, with a FAQ section, should stop last minute queries about timings, whether children are really not invited, parking and so on.

Don’t get dragged into drama

Your bridesmaids can’t agree on what to do for your hen night.  Your future mother-in-law is refusing to get on board with the idea of a BBQ in the evening.  Your dad’s brother is in a sulk because you won’t let him make a speech.  Drama is great for reality TV shows about romance and weddings but you really don’t need it.  Preserve your peace of mind by distancing yourself from other people’s issues.  Keep telling yourself “don’t sweat the small stuff – it’s all small stuff!”

Work as a team

Organising a wedding is a major undertaking and works a lot better if you play an equal role with your partner – if one of you feels that they are carrying a heavier load, or being left out of decision making, then that is sure to create tension.  Do stuff together, rather than delegating tasks like you’re their manager!  And apps like Trello, Mint and Wedding Happy can be a big help.

Don’t compare

Getting married is not some kind of competitive sport where you try to outdo others!  You can use Instagram, Pinterest and the like for inspiration but remember it’s your day, your way.  Your friend who keeps telling you about the amazing canapés at her cousin’s reception, or the Real Weddings you see in the bridal magazines – don’t let it get to you!  Whoever said “Comparison Is The Thief of Joy” got it right.

Chill – we’ve got it!

If you book your wedding at Clevedon Hall you’ll have a team of experienced wedding experts to help you out – pre-wedding nerves are a lot easier to deal with when you have that kind of professional support.