There has been much speculation about what we can expect in the way of “the new normal”.  These discussions have been wide ranging, covering everything from new working practices to the future of air travel and tourism.  There has also been much conjecture around how wedding ceremonies and celebrations will have to change in world where covid remains a serious threat.  Rather than add to that debate we thought we’d turn the subject on its head and ask “what was the old normal where weddings were concerned?”  Some of the ideas and practices from days of yore certainly seem odd from a modern perspective!

Ancient Egypt

Lifespans were shorter so boys were usually married by the age of 15 to 20 while girls wed younger, sometimes as early as 12 years old.  Sex before marriage and illegitimacy were not frowned upon – attitudes were very open.  

Before the 26th Dynasty (664 to 332 BC) women had little say in their choice of partner – the man and the bride's parents simply came to an arrangement.  Despite this statues and portraits usually depict happy couples and what writings survive suggest that many relationships were fond and romantic. 

It was very important to find a compatible partner and build a good relationship because the ancient Egyptians believed marriage to be eternal – you were reunited in the afterlife and who wants to be miserably married for ever?!  The wedding ceremony was very simple - the bride simply moved herself and her belongings into the groom's house, at which point the families had a little celebration.

Things were slightly different for royalty.  Whereas incest was frowned upon for everyone else the practice was popular amongst the rulers.  The idea was that would preserve the purity of the royal lineage.  The result, however, was genetic corruption and many royal babies didn't survive. Cleopatra married both of her brothers, Ptolemy XIII and Ptolemy XIV, but either of the marriages produced offspring. Tutankhamun married his half-sister Ankhesenamun when he was about 10 years old and she was between 8 and 10 years old.  Their two daughters were both stillborn.  Tutankhamun himself was deformed, probably because his parents were brother and sister.

Ancient Rome

The Romans had three types of wedding.  The poshest was Conferratio, reserved for the highest members of society.  The Flamin Dalis (Highest Priest of Jupiter) and Pontifex Maximus (Chief High Priest) presided over the ceremony and ten other witnesses had to be present as well. This luxurious event got its name from the spelt cake (farreum) enjoyed at the festivities.

Coemptio was for plebians, the middle classes, and enacted a transaction where the bride was sold to the groom.  It was symbolic – she wasn’t really being purchased.  At least five witnesses had to be present as the two lovers recited their vows. The wife came down the aisle with her dowry, signifying that she and all her possessions were at the hands of her husband.

Usus was the least formal arrangement, practiced by the lower classes..  After a year together the wife could confirm the arrangement or regain her freedom. 

Middle Ages

In medieval times most marriages were arranged between the parents and the objective was to secure political advantage or wealth.  Women had little say in the matter – they were regarded as property to be passed from one family to another.  Husbands and wives were generally strangers until they first met. If love was involved at all, it came after the couple had been married.

The family of the girl would give a dowry, or donation, to the boy she was to marry. This was to provide the girl with the funds to buy whatever household items were required for their new home and to help her support herself and her children if the husband predeceased her.

Once the marriage was arranged a notice was posted on the door of the church to invite anyone to come forward if they knew of any grounds for prohibiting the marriage.

During the ceremony the bride stood to the left of the groom - due to the belief that Eve was created out of Adam's left rib.  The bride usually wore a dress of blue, signifying purity.  The ceremony was followed by a feast, with much wine, singing and dancing.  The cakes, however, was not sweet, and covered in icing but the kind of unsweetened wheat-based bread that people would eat every day.

No wedding was complete until it was consummated and in the early days of the middle ages this meant witnesses were present when the couple jumped into bed.  Not only did guests follow the couple into the bedroom but it was considered good luck to rip a piece off the bride’s dress.  This practice gradually came to be seen as slightly uncivilised but the bride would toss her bouquet to her bridesmaids, and the groom would remove her garter and throw it to his mates as a symbolic gesture that they would soon be fully “man and wife”.

From 1500 onwards

In Elizabethan times many couples didn’t bother with witnesses or a proper ceremony.  The authorities were so dismayed by this that in 1563 the Council of Trent decreed that marriages should be celebrated in the presence of a priest and at least two witnesses.  This didn’t entirely stop people taking shortcuts or bending the rules and many marriages were either “irregular” or “clandestine”. 

An "irregular" marriage was one that took place either away from the home parish of the spouses (but after banns or licence), or at an improper time (during Lent or Advent, for instance). "Clandestine" marriages were those that had an element of secrecy to them, taking place away from a home parish and without either banns or marriage licence.  It has been estimated that towards the end of the 17th century about a third of marriages in this country were either irregular or clandestine.

The Marriage Duty Act 1695 put an end to irregular marriages at parochial churches by penalizing clergymen who married couples without banns or licence. By a legal quirk, however, clergymen operating in London’s Fleet debtor’s prison could not effectively be proceeded against, and the clandestine marriage business there carried on. In the 1740s over half of all London weddings were taking place in the environs of the Fleet Prison.  The majority of Fleet marriages were for honest purposes, when couples simply wanted to get married quickly or at low cost.

In 1753, Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act was passed, which required, under pain of annulment, that banns should be published or a licence obtained and the marriage should be solemnized in church by a recognised clergyman with at least two witnesses present. Clergymen conducting clandestine marriages were liable to transportation.  This effectively ut a stop to this practice and couples had to travel to Scotland, the nearest point being Gretna Green.  This had substantial use until 1856, when Scottish law was changed to require 21 days' residence.

Today

Tying the knot these days is very different.  Some old traditions and requirements still remain but much else has been lost in the sands of time.  Right now it’s hard to say what a modern wedding looks like – it’s changing by the day!  If you’d like discuss your plans, and what’s possible in the immediate future, our expert and experienced team are here to help.