There has been a flurry of news stories recently about the fact that mixed-sex couples can now enter into a civil partnership rather than get married.  If you are confused about the difference between the two read on – this post will make it clear.  But that’s not all.  We also take a look at some of the more weird and wonderful ways that people tie the knot around the world. 

What is a civil partnership?

A civil partnership is a legally recognised arrangement between two people that provides many of the same benefits as a conventional marriage.  They enjoy the same rights as married couples in terms of tax benefits, pensions and inheritance.

However, unlike a conventional marriage, there is no ceremony.  The process does not involve an exchange of vows or the singing of hymns.  It also takes place in front a registrar as opposed to a recognised religious leader, such as a vicar or a rabbi. Instead, the union is simply valid after both parties sign the civil partnership document.  This makes a civil partnership a desirable option for those who want to legally recognise their relationship but don’t align themselves with a particular religion, or who object to the fact that a traditional marriage is perceived as being steeped in patriarchal tradition, in which women are “given away” by their fathers and promise to “obey” their husbands.

In 2004 it became legal for same sex couples to enter into a civil partnership.  Ten years later same-sex couples were allowed to marry.  Since then many mixed-sex couples have been complained at the inequality of the situation – they also wanted to have the choice between a wedding and a civil partnership.  Their wish has finally been granted and a number of mixed-sex couples entered into civil partnerships in the last couple of days before the end of 2019.  It is estimated that around 84,000 mixed-sex couples could form civil partnerships in 2020.

What, no reception?!

There’s nothing to say that those who enter into a civil partnership can’t have a party.  However, the whole point of this arrangement is to avoid any ceremony, and to keep things low-key – so the early indications are that those who go this “alternative” route will probably keep any celebrations relatively modest. 

One couple who were interviews in the Camden New Journal said “we are thinking of going to a local greasy spoon afterwards, maybe with some champagne.”  Another explained that “It’s doing something simply, without a fanfare. It’s a significant moment but at the same time it’s not something that requires opulence and materialism. We will eventually celebrate with a few friends on New Year’s Eve.”While there are many couples who will prefer this approach most will still see tying the knot as a great opportunity to celebrate their love in a very public way and then throw a terrific party.  That’s certainly the way most people, all around the world, and for thousands of years, have treated it.  And they have come up with some pretty inventive, dramatic and off-the-wall ways of making a big deal of the whole occasion.  There are too many to list here but we’ve just handpicked a few at random.

In China – see red and shoot the bride

China has more than its fair share of unusual (well, they seem unusual to us…) traditions.  It’s a big country, with a lot of ethnic and regional diversity, but these are some of the rituals you might come across.

In Chinese culture, red symbolizes happiness, prosperity and good luck.  It is therefore Chinese tradition for the bride to wear a red dress, called a qipao and to cover her face with a red veil on the wedding day.  The typical Chinese wedding invitation is red, placed in a red envelope, and usually has gold, vertical wording read from right to left with the groom’s information presented first before the bride’s.

Guests give red envelopes, called hóngbā, instead of gifts – but you stuff it with money.  The amount should cover your expenses at the wedding plus sufficient for a gift.  The closer your relationship to the couple the bigger the amount you gift.  In Chinese tradition, some numbers are considered luckier than others – a fact you must bear in mind.  Eight or nine are lucky, for is not.  So $88 is thought to bring good fortune.

One strange tradition originates you sometimes see at a Chinese wedding originates from the Uyghur people of Xinjiang province on the country’s most western borders, The groom shoots his bride using a bow and three (blunt!) arrows.  He then collects the arrows and breaks them during the ceremony, to ensure their love lasts forever.

Sawing logs and cleaning up?  I do!

In Germany, as we all know, efficiency is highly prized – and this is reflected in a couple of their wedding traditions.  Some newlyweds have their compatibility put to the test after the ceremony by being presented with a log – which they then to saw in half while their guests give advice and encouragement. The act is intended to showcase the bride and groom's ability to work together and face the obstacles that may come throughout their marriage.

Another tradition involves smashing crockery.  This is known as “Polterabend” and   on the night before the wedding the guests break porcelain to bring luck to the couple's marriage.  This usually takes place in front of the house occupied by the parents of the bride.  Custom dictates that the more shards of broken pottery, the better the luck that couple will have in their married life. After the craziness comes to an end, the couple cleans up the mess to show they can work well together. 

Oops, the bride has been kidnapped!

In Romania they have some fun and games before the wedding by playing an abduction game.  The bride is kidnapped by friends, family, or hired entertainers, and the groom must come to her rescue and pay her ransom through drinks, money, or romantic gestures.

This tradition is actually quite common across Europe, with versions in Russia, Germany and Wales.  In the Welsh version the best man takes the bride to the pub before the wedding, and the groom-to-be must find them and pick up the tab. Or the bride’s family run off with her just before the ceremony.  The groom and his family would set off in hot pursuit and, obviously, rescue the bride. One version of this custom declared that whoever actually freed the bride would themselves be married within the year.

A few more traditions from around the world

At a Guatemalan wedding reception, the mother of the groom breaks a white bell to welcome the newlyweds to the party. The bell, filled with flour, rice, and grains, is meant to bring luck and prosperity.

In Poland guests are invited to buy dances with the bride at the reception. Her maid of honour collects the cash and it all goes towards the couple's honeymoon.

In a traditional Indian wedding, the bride's sisters steal the groom’s shoes once he enters the wedding tent. The groom must then bribe the sisters to return them.

In some parts of Scotland they still practice “blackening”.  On the day before the wedding the unfortunate bride and groom are plied with alcohol then covered in soot, treacle, flour and feathers.  They are then paraded around the neighbourhood in a cart or pickup truck.  This was supposed to ward off evil spirits before a marriage. 

Fun and games – we’re up for it

Whatever kind of ceremony and celebration you have planned we’d be delighted to host your big day.  We’ve very flexible and accommodating so even if you have some fairly off-the-wall ideas we should be able to make the occasion a wonderful one!